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How to Ensure Your Death

February 10, 2010

Don’t let anyone who enjoys healing get away with telling you that they don’t enjoy watching certain people die.  Of course, one of the main reasons we become healers is because we’re a bit OCD about health bars, and if there is a way we can get your health up to full, that’s what most of our brain is working on, even if that means we are taking some damage ourselves.  We enjoy healing you.  We don’t sleep well at night when we let nice people die.  Our entire job is to make sure as many people stay alive as possible so we can down the boss.  Our second most important job is prioritizing heals to make sure that if some people die, it’s not the ones that will cause a total wipe.

What does this mean to you if you’re dpsing a 5 man heroic these days?  You’re about as important as one of my totems.  We might notice if you disappear during the fight, but probably not.  Thus, if you have managed to piss me off, there is a very good chance that I will stop healing you, and you will die.  I will enjoy this to no end, and you will probably go away convinced that I am a noob healer that couldn’t keep you alive.  Here’s how to ensure (no, not insure, I don’t offer life insurance in WoW) that you will spend a lot of time staring at the floor in a heroic I’m healing:

  • Repeatedly draw aggro on mobs. Most tanks these days can hold aggro on a couple of pulls worth of mobs while you AoE them down.  In order to do this, they need maybe 1 or 2 GCDs to establish aggro.  Give them this time.  Or, if you are single target dpsing, please for the love of God follow the tank’s target.  Set up a focus macro and learn to use it.
  • Fail to timely drop aggro. Just about every class has a mechanic to drop threat these days.  If you aren’t using those tools, and are just sitting there tanking the mob, at some point I will stop healing you.  Consider it a cheap lesson in how to play.  If you can’t drop aggro, run towards the tank, not away from him.  You’re just making it harder for the tank to taunt off of you (if he still cares; tanks can be grouchy too).
  • Decide you can pull because the tank is too slow. If you can pull and stay alive until the tank comes to save you, then way to go.  But, I’m not going to burn all my mana healing an impatient fury warrior.  You yank it, you tank it, and good luck getting heals from me if you pull this more than once or twice in a run.
  • Tell me I suck. This one is pretty obvious.  I’m a well geared healer who runs 25 ICC.  While I’m not an all-star, I know what I’m doing and I know how to play my class.  If you tell me that I suck, I will just stop healing you.  It is quite easy for me to stop using Chain Heal and switch to Lesser Healing Wave to make sure you get no heals.  You will then become convinced that I suck, which is too bad for you.  Even the best healer cannot prevent every wipe, and it was probably caused by you doing something stupid in the first place, so chill out.   Even if the healer DOES suck, do you think yelling this at them makes them want to heal you?
  • Tell other people they suck. Are you that guy who berates lesser-geared players for doing bad DPS?  Yells at everyone throughout the heroic for not playing up to your required speed/skill/gear levels?  At some point, I’ll probably just decide that you deserve to die.  Should a DK ever be doing 800k DPS in a heroic?  No, probably not.  You making them feel like crap isn’t going to improve their DPS, it’s just going to ruin their day.  If you have helpful tips on a rotation, gearing choice, etc, find a tactful way to present them.  If you just want to be a tool, then I heard there’s some floor that needs tasting.
  • Start yelling things like “I need heals.” This applies more to a raid, where you might be using ventrilo, and is only really excusable if you are a tank.  Even then, unless there’s some burst damage or a tank switch incoming, we probably know you need heals.  When DPS yell this out it causes one of two reactions.  First, if your healer is contrary like me, they immediately think “no, I will not heal you; hope you enjoy dying.”  If they are nice, they will try to figure out who is talking, find that person on their Grid or other raid frames, and then heal them.  Which takes a while.  If you had just shut up, you probably would have already been healed.  I won’t tell you to DPS the boss, you don’t tell me to heal you.

If you’re not doing these things, then rest assured that your healer is probably doing their best to heal you.  All we do as healers is try to stay alive and heal people.  We appreciate that you are killing the big scary dudes for us so we can get emblems/gold/loot off of them.  We know your health levels at all times, and if you are the highest current priority for heals and are in range, we will heal you ASAP.  So, if you find that you keep dying even though you have a well-geared healer, ponder whether you have committed one of the violations above.

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10 Comments leave one →
  1. youyankityoutankit permalink
    February 11, 2010 6:03 AM

    Yeah, as a tank I try not to call for heals during a raid, but somehow, on occasion it slips out my lips. :/ Usually while my health bar sits at 12k health for what feels like 2 hours… probably because my healer got spiked…

  2. February 11, 2010 8:25 AM

    Ha ha….so true. In fact I had that fury warrior in my pug last night. Too funny!

  3. February 11, 2010 8:57 AM

    I agree. Ok when I am healing, I absolutely can’t stop healing anyone. I really really want to sometimes, but I just can’t stop filling those health bars! I was leveling my little priest and I asked the mage to remove my curse in a five man. Which he never did, the curse slowed my cast speed, that was the first time I stopped healing someone, until he removed it. I don’t have time to waste heals on someone who won’t help me get my speeds back up to normal. Stupid dps deserve to die, I will try to stop healing more often.

  4. Ateve permalink
    February 11, 2010 11:04 AM

    My current pet peeve is the first boss in hPoS and dps that refuses to LOS and drop his debuff stack.

    If you get more than 10 stacks then I stop healing. If they complain I tell them the debuff was too much to keep up with, which is generally a blatent lie. It goes in the category of gtfootf, if you’re more concerned with maximizing dps than doing simple things to stay alive then I’m not concerned if you live or not.

    Our raiding MT also has a bad habit if one of the healers calls out in vent that they are a) spiked b) slime infected c) anything else that causes them to not be able to heal that he then tells us to make sure he keeps getting heals. I’m sure he understands thats why we are calling out in vent to begin with but can get a little annoying on fights life Rotface where its happening regularly.

  5. February 11, 2010 11:41 AM

    This is great! I generally don’t stop healing unless its a dps that starts taking massive damage. That usually means they are doing something they shouldn’t be and I don’t waste more than one or two casts on someone like that because there are players that are not being stupid that can use heals more effectively. After my encounter with an asshat dps however, I believe I may start not healing more often.

    • February 11, 2010 12:22 PM

      Glad I’m not the only one out there. 🙂 I will say, however, that one of my favorite things as a healer is to save a DPS when they were sure they were going to die. That’s why we are there, and I love the challenge. It’s just the repeated failures to adjust play that get to me and invite a lack of healing.

  6. Alexis permalink
    February 23, 2010 8:23 PM

    Sadly, “haha I’m not healing you!” does not work very well on affliction locks. Even on frickin Bronjahm, who whacks casters in the face with weird lightning crap, my boyfriend just refused to die (and he seriously wasn’t even trying) when I had refused to heal him or even chain heal or drop healing stream.

    So really it just made my life more painful, avoiding chain heal and having the warlock not even have the decency to die for my entertainment.

    Stupid affliction warlocks.

  7. February 25, 2010 5:53 AM

    I only disagree with one thing… Dps are no where near as important as my totems…

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