How to Ensure Your Death
Don’t let anyone who enjoys healing get away with telling you that they don’t enjoy watching certain people die. Of course, one of the main reasons we become healers is because we’re a bit OCD about health bars, and if there is a way we can get your health up to full, that’s what most of our brain is working on, even if that means we are taking some damage ourselves. We enjoy healing you. We don’t sleep well at night when we let nice people die. Our entire job is to make sure as many people stay alive as possible so we can down the boss. Our second most important job is prioritizing heals to make sure that if some people die, it’s not the ones that will cause a total wipe.
What does this mean to you if you’re dpsing a 5 man heroic these days? You’re about as important as one of my totems. We might notice if you disappear during the fight, but probably not. Thus, if you have managed to piss me off, there is a very good chance that I will stop healing you, and you will die. I will enjoy this to no end, and you will probably go away convinced that I am a noob healer that couldn’t keep you alive. Here’s how to ensure (no, not insure, I don’t offer life insurance in WoW) that you will spend a lot of time staring at the floor in a heroic I’m healing:
- Repeatedly draw aggro on mobs. Most tanks these days can hold aggro on a couple of pulls worth of mobs while you AoE them down. In order to do this, they need maybe 1 or 2 GCDs to establish aggro. Give them this time. Or, if you are single target dpsing, please for the love of God follow the tank’s target. Set up a focus macro and learn to use it.
- Fail to timely drop aggro. Just about every class has a mechanic to drop threat these days. If you aren’t using those tools, and are just sitting there tanking the mob, at some point I will stop healing you. Consider it a cheap lesson in how to play. If you can’t drop aggro, run towards the tank, not away from him. You’re just making it harder for the tank to taunt off of you (if he still cares; tanks can be grouchy too).
- Decide you can pull because the tank is too slow. If you can pull and stay alive until the tank comes to save you, then way to go. But, I’m not going to burn all my mana healing an impatient fury warrior. You yank it, you tank it, and good luck getting heals from me if you pull this more than once or twice in a run.
- Tell me I suck. This one is pretty obvious. I’m a well geared healer who runs 25 ICC. While I’m not an all-star, I know what I’m doing and I know how to play my class. If you tell me that I suck, I will just stop healing you. It is quite easy for me to stop using Chain Heal and switch to Lesser Healing Wave to make sure you get no heals. You will then become convinced that I suck, which is too bad for you. Even the best healer cannot prevent every wipe, and it was probably caused by you doing something stupid in the first place, so chill out. Even if the healer DOES suck, do you think yelling this at them makes them want to heal you?
- Tell other people they suck. Are you that guy who berates lesser-geared players for doing bad DPS? Yells at everyone throughout the heroic for not playing up to your required speed/skill/gear levels? At some point, I’ll probably just decide that you deserve to die. Should a DK ever be doing 800k DPS in a heroic? No, probably not. You making them feel like crap isn’t going to improve their DPS, it’s just going to ruin their day. If you have helpful tips on a rotation, gearing choice, etc, find a tactful way to present them. If you just want to be a tool, then I heard there’s some floor that needs tasting.
- Start yelling things like “I need heals.” This applies more to a raid, where you might be using ventrilo, and is only really excusable if you are a tank. Even then, unless there’s some burst damage or a tank switch incoming, we probably know you need heals. When DPS yell this out it causes one of two reactions. First, if your healer is contrary like me, they immediately think “no, I will not heal you; hope you enjoy dying.” If they are nice, they will try to figure out who is talking, find that person on their Grid or other raid frames, and then heal them. Which takes a while. If you had just shut up, you probably would have already been healed. I won’t tell you to DPS the boss, you don’t tell me to heal you.
If you’re not doing these things, then rest assured that your healer is probably doing their best to heal you. All we do as healers is try to stay alive and heal people. We appreciate that you are killing the big scary dudes for us so we can get emblems/gold/loot off of them. We know your health levels at all times, and if you are the highest current priority for heals and are in range, we will heal you ASAP. So, if you find that you keep dying even though you have a well-geared healer, ponder whether you have committed one of the violations above.